Tag Archives: Woman

Easier said than done–BUT DON’T QUIT

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Three weeks into the new year and here I am struggling to stay positive and speak life. I am trying to think in a new way so I can speak and act in a new way, since I can only control my words and actions. Once I conquer negative thinking and speaking, no matter what comes my way, HOW I RESPOND is key to Peace & Happiness or Anxiety & Bitterness.

But just for today I have to be honest about where I was/how I was today. My food choices can be out of whack when my mood is whack and my mood wasn’t right today…

I have been doing so well this week, eating more veggies, fruits, juicing, good protein and cutting my salt intake. BUT TODAY, I didn’t want to speak, but I wanted to eat, smh..So here’s a pic of me sadly posing with regular egg beaters instead of my egg whites, smh.. I gave in, to temptation and honestly I am not feeling guilty about it, although I feel like I should, I really don’t. I topped it off with some shredded cheese, smh..However, I realize that imperfect me will have days like this, but I can’t afford to get comfortable and let those days, become weeks, months, etc. I am allowing myself this moment, but I am also telling myself, “Self, you can’t stay in your feelings, get in a rut and waste all the hard work that you have done this week for some words or actions directed your way that hurt you/pissed you off. BREATHE, INHALE, EXHALE, SPEAK UP and MAKE PEACE with whatever it is and LET IT GO”. SNAP OUT OF IT!!

When my nerves were going wild, I put my kids in their high chairs/booster seats, put on their ABC Phonics program, put their snacks on their trays and went to my oasis. My getaway. My Niagara Falls. The bathroom, lol! I took a look in the mirror and did some positive self talk. I reminded myself that It’s a new year, but even better, TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY!

If you have found yourself slowly but surely trying to head into a rut, pray, push, pull, do whatever you have to do to get out of it and if you don’t feel strong enough to do it alone, Surrender it. Surrender to God and ask someone you trust for help! Have a great weekend folks! #newyearnewme #newyearnewyou #therewillbesomestumblingalongtheway #butgetupandpresson

“Mean Well, then Speak Well”

Whenever I travel out-of-town, I call significant people in my life  to let them know of my plans. This week I am preparing to travel out-of-town in a few days and one of those significant people who “means well, but often doesn’t speak well” said, “Ok, I love you and safe travels and make sure you don’t starve the kids”. YES THEY DID!!! YES THEY DID undermine my common sense and mothering of my kiddies..I was quite appalled, but decided to not dignify their words with a response because I am SOOOOOO TIRED of telling this person about their “not so nice” words. Their “stuff” that they refuse to fully deal with often gets in the way of how we communicate. How do you respond to that without having a feud and giving off negative energy, when you are striving to be a positive person?!??!! So, can someone really mean well if they continue to not speak well to you?!?!?? I don’t think so!

Whether you, the reader of this post are a Christian or not, I believe you can’t help but agree that this Proverb from the Bible speaks THE TRUTH about how powerful words are!

Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Which simply means that you can help or harm with your words, you can empower or demean with your words, you can encourage or discourage with your words, but most of all you CHOOSE YOUR WORDS! When (our) children have fits, tantrums, or are straight up acting like they are losing their minds, very often when attempting to defuse the situation we say “USE YOUR WORDS”, or when we want them to be polite and say things such as please, thank-you, etc. we might say WHAT’S THE MAGIC WORD. So as adults why don’t we “use our words”? why do we stop saying “the magic word”? Sadly, I have seen women tear each other down instead of building one another up:( and it all stems from a need to compete and survive in this crazy world that caters to men in ways that women are not catered to(i.e.  men receiving a higher salary pay than a woman who holds the same job position<– Quite a shame that we are in the 21st century and this happens more than you think).  If we would only come to the realization that we are stronger together than apart. Competition is not a bad thing, but it becomes unhealthy when you degrade someone and you don’t have any regard for another person and will take them down, bring them down, SPEAK THEM DOWN, to get what you want, to get your point across. Last time I checked we were all human beings, whether a man or woman we bleed red, so why not have an uplifting attitude, word and spirit.

As a new mom, it is so important to surround myself with positive women, but essentially positive people in general. I know that there are many people who “MEAN WELL” and want to give me all types of advice because they have “been there, done that”,but if you impose your beliefs on me, hardly compliment or acknowledge my efforts to be the best me or ridicule my every move then I will never get the opportunity to say that I have “been there, done that”. Honestly that expression “been there, done that”  if you “MEAN WELL”, should only be said with good intent to encourage someone because your experience has equipped you with the tools to push through. So, there is no excuse, if you “mean well”!

Maybe we need to really consider the old adage that says, “If you have nothing good to say, then don’t say nothing at all”. Unfortunately, most of us have a few of those “mean well,but often doesn’t speak well” people in our lives, and my advice is simply SPEAK UP! Do not let anyone speak down to you because you are young, you’re a new mom, a new graduate, etc. Let them know that what they said did harm and not help. And if they say that you’re being dramatic, immature, etc. simply tell them, “Well you have your right to your opinion, so who am I to sit here and work hard to convince you of anything different”. However, do not disregard or diminish the fact that you were hurt because we need to be more cognizant as fellow human beings of USING OUR WORDS to encourage not discourage, BUT do know which battles to fight. Some people’s “stuff” can be a hindrance to the most tactful, yet honest response you may say because “Hurting people say and do hurtful things”. However, you don’t have to be anyone’s punching bag, you can  decide to be cordial and keep them at an arm’s length or if for whatever reason they have to be in your circle, use discernment about what you share with them and if all else fails WALK AWAY with your head held high because you may not be perfect, but if you’re putting your best foot forward then you are being the best you, you can be!

For me?

A few days ago a friend and I were leaving a rehearsal and on our way out the door I told her that I was feeling slightly light-headed. I knew that I was feeling that way because it had been quite awhile since I had a meal before our 2 hr.rehearsal. She had a snack in her purse and gave it to me and offered to follow me home in her car because I insisted that I wasn’t in such a state that I needed to be driven home by someone else….

COMMERCIAL: THIS WAS SUCH A BAD IDEA NOW THAT I REFLECT ON IT BECAUSE ALTHOUGH MY DRIVE HOME WAS BRIEF AND I WAS SO FOCUSED IN ON GETTING HOME TO TEND TO MY BABIES AND SEE MY HUBBY THAT I FAILED TO CONSIDER MY NEEDS AND TEND TO MYSELF…SOMETIMES WE FORGET AS MOMS THAT WHEN WE TEND TO OURSELVES WE ARE TENDING TO EVERYONE WE CARE ABOUT. HOW CAN I HOLD MY 7 MONTH OLD IF I’M LIGHTHEADED OR RUN AFTER MY 2YO IF I’M DIZZY, OR WORSE YET IF I’M DEAD :(…DOESN’T MAKE MUCH SENSE, HUH? BUT IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US AND MOST, IF NOT ALL, MOMS ARE GUILTY OF THIS CRIME ATLEAST ONCE. SO HEALTHY MOMMY RESULTS IN HEALTHY EVERYBODY AND A HAPPIER ENVIRONMENT. IT IS NOT SELFISH TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST,  IT IS JUST THE OPPOSITE, SELFLESS, BECAUSE YOU ARE CARING FOR YOU WITH THE INTEREST TO CARE FOR YOUR FAMILY AS WELL. SELFISH WOULD BE DELIBERATELY FOCUSING IN ON YOURSELF AND DISREGARDING THE FEELINGS AND NEEDS OF YOUR CHILDREN/YOUR FAMILY..

BUT I DIGRESS, I THINK YOU GET THE POINT–

So anywho:) I started to feel less light-headed after a few bites of the snack she gave me. While walking to our cars she said she has had something for me at her house for almost a year and kept forgetting to bring it for me. She’s always talking about the kids and loving on them so I assumed it was for them. Since she lived very close to where we were, less than 6 mins., and I started to feel better, I agreed to stop by her house and then we would head to my place after.  She brought this huge bag  to my car, I figured I’d see the gift at home so I didn’t bother to peek in it. She jumped in her car and followed me to my home. On our way to my home we were on the phone and I just kept thanking her for the gift because I feel so blessed when someone considers my children with a gift. I wasn’t sure if it was for my son or my daughter, but while we’re chatting she asked what size shoe do you wear, but for some reason I heard, what size shoe does your son wear. I responded and told her he is a 9.5/10. Funny enough that is my shoe size too. So she is like, no, NOT FOR YOUR SON, FOR YOU. I was in disbelief! It wasn’t my birthday, a special holiday, etc. I was speechless. She gave me two pairs of shoes that she bought awhile back for herself and were never worn because they were too big for her and she thought they would look great on  me.

Sexy in Red
Sexy in Red
Sparkling in Emerald
Sparkling in Emerald

I just thought it was so interesting that I automatically assumed and thought of my children being gifted and not me. But isn’t that the story of a momma’s life, kids first and ourselves second. Well maybe it’s time to be selfless and enjoy my gift that my very thoughtful friend gave me and go out on a hot date with my hubbsters in these shoes and reunite with my children in a stupendous mood because I got to take care of me and still enjoy them at the end of the day. I’M BLESSED! Embrace the little getaways that you can have and embrace your little kiddies while they are little because they grow so fast!

These shoes are drop dead gorgeous as you can see and make this MOMMA feel soooooo not a momma, but instead like a single twenty something young woman dating my husband again:)..But hey, who says a momma can’t wear some sexy heels and still rock a diaper bag and baby in tow one day:)!