Tag Archives: Marriage

“Compliment Not Compete”

The other day as I was preparing to go to church my television was tuned in to a preacher by the name of Kerry Shook who made a statement that spoke to my heart. He said, “Men and women were created to compliment one another not compete with one another”…That’s just the way we were created to be..
Using the bible as a reference point Genesis 2:18 says, ….
“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. Which simply means, someone who can be a partner, A HELP, NOT A HURT… This preacher went on to say that your partner should be your companion not your opponent.

How awesome could our relationships be if both individuals took that statement and really applied it to their marriage/their partnership?!?!!! Defenses would decrease and communication would increase! You can bank on the fact that this person is not out to get you, but instead they have your best interest at heart. That doesn’t mean that every word out of your mouth/their mouth will be uplifting because we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world and naturally our words can hurt or tear a person down. However, when it becomes ongoing verbal abuse that is NOT OKAY! When your partner says something that is hurtful, COMMUNICATE, express that pain to them, don’t let it simmer, because you are setting up a platform for the two of you to become opponents! Communication to your partner leads to deeper intimacy (not just physical) and companionship. The partner who does the hurting needs to take a genuine look on how they hurt and make efforts to speak better, to do better. I truly believe if someone says they love you, they should love you enough to consider your feelings even if they don’t understand it. They should take on the role of “a student” and let you teach them how to speak to you, how to treat you, how to essentially love you..This can only be done if SELFLESSNESS is a component within both partners..

I have mentioned partners and not just spouses in this entry intentionally because if opposition is more apparent than companionship in a dating/engaged relationship take a SERIOUS LOOK AT WHY YOU’RE STAYING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP! Because if you believe it will POOF, BEGONE and change in marriage you are delusional. Without any type of intervention for change you are setting yourself up for failure. You and your partner may both be “good” people, but you may not be good for each other and that’s just REAL TALK!

Learn one another’s LOVE LANGUAGE, a term that the author Gary Chapman is a genius for coining, in my opinion. Be selfless and consider how you can please your partner..Are you COMPLIMENTING or COMPETING…Are you a COMPANION or an OPPONENT?!?!?? Check yaself!